I am writing this article as I was unkind to myself and beating myself for not doing enough. Ok I know that I’m still doing it sometimes, because people forget very easy, but now with these 7 steps as guidelines to remind me I don’t have any excuse.
Kindness comes easy when we have our good days. It is when the bad days are coming to us and then we blame ourselves when we feel disappointed due to something we did or didn’t do.
We give names to ourselves such as I am not smart, I am short, I am fat, I am useless, I am ugly and the list never ends. What we have to do is reframe our judgmental words in a positive way.
Long time ago I read a book about Buddhist psychology and it says that we have to teach ourselves how to be self-compassionate and that is actually a skill. The more we practice the easier and more natural it gets! So the key is to try what suits you best and make it every day until it becomes a habit.
Here are 7 tips that I think will help you:
- Give some time to yourself every day. Put aside time for YOU. It may be 15’ to an hour to do whatever makes you feel happy or relaxed. It may be a hot bath, go for a long walk, read a book or go to the gym.
2. Become aware of your achievements. Focus on your goals and on what you have accomplished so far. This is important to see how much you have improved and how far you have come. Do you remember this exactly day 5 or 10 years ago? Did you think that you will be in this position by now? I personally wouldn’t think 5 years ago that I will be that blessed as I am today!
3. Stop trying to be perfect. Perfection is a virus that can destroy you. Perfection can drive you crazy, comparing constantly yourself with everyone around you. Your goal is to improve every day by only 0,1%, a year time from now you will be 3.7 times better. Can you imagine yourself even two times more productive, clever and stronger? Aim for improvement not perfection.
4. Feel ok about failures and mistakes that you have done. They made you change and think differently. They shaped you and made you what you are today. You don’t have to beat yourself all the time and use words that lower you, instead pat yourself on the back and say “I did great”.
When you face a problem or a scary situation, ask yourself, is this going to matter in a year, in 5 years from now? If the answer is no, why should you have to worry today? Just let it go.
Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.
5. Forgive yourself. We all do mistakes and things that we would have done differently and that’s ok. That was in the past and we cannot change it but we can change how we feel now. Give yourself the permission to move on.
6. Believe in you. Feel good about yourselves and keep your self-esteem up. Believing in you is the secret to succeed in life and stay strong through hard times.
7. Stay away from negative and miserable people. They would drain your energy and unsettle your inner peace.
Surround yourself with people that make you feel happy, accept you for what you are and force you to be a better version of yourself.
Those were my 7 tips, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think on the comments!
Something last but not least, just as you would ask a dear friend who is struggling, take the time and ask yourself:
“What do I need?”, “Why do I feel like that?” and “What would make me feel happy?”.
THANK YOU for taking the time!
Have a nice day!
Live Happy 